How to Go Mad in 28 Easy Steps!

Oki's been in England for the past month and has been having trouble setting up internet access on his laptop computer. He has given a brief summary below of his experience with a British telephone company, an experience we are now all familiar with, wherever we live:

Phoned Lunifone. Recorded voice: Please select 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6.
I select 3.
Please enter your mobile phone number (Why? I'm ringing about a modem.)
Entered my pay-as-you-go Lunifone phone number.
Please select 1, 2, 3 or 4 for technical support. I select 4.
Please enter your mobile phone number (What, again?)
Entered my pay-as-you-go Lunifone phone number.
We are experiencing heavy demand .. (etc)
Waited for five seconds, then got cut off!
Cursing and swearing ensue. Pick up phone again.
Go through all the procedure above (nine steps).
Manage to get a real person (Tech Support) who says: "What is your mobile phone number?" "What again? I've just entered it twice."
I cry in disbelief.
"Well, it doesn't show on my computer," he says.
Tech Support person decides he doesn't need it anyway."What is modem's SIM card number?"
I remove it from the modem and tell him.
Spend 20 minutes moving the phone and modem SIM cards between the two devices.
"I'm just registering your modem's SIM card on the network," he advises.
"OK, give it 10 minutes and everything should be OK," he says.
Put phone down. One hour later, no signal on modem.
Repeat procedure from line one above, (steps 1-9, didn't get cut off).
Tech support registers SIM card on network again still no joy.
Next day, four hours on phone to Chris in Australia.
He tries to help with my Mac laptop booted up with XP.
Still no bloody good. Next day, (the third day), phoned Lunifone.
Repeat all the Lunifone steps 1- 9.
Tech Support: "You're not registered on the network."
"Eh?!?" I was speechless at this point, just as well.
"I'll do it now, give it ten minutes and it'll be OK" (Where have I heard that before?)
Thinks: Should I drive to Dover and jump off the White Cliffs?
The 300 metre fall should solve the problem. Turned on modem ... IT WORKS!!!
Here endeth the saga. Sound familiar?