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The World's Easiest Quiz

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ: (Passing requires 4 correct answers) 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7) What was King George VI's first name? 8) What colour is a purple finch? 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? 10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below. ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years 2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses 4) In which month do Russians celebrate t he October Revolution? November 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs 7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert 8) What colour is a purple finch? Crimson 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand 10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

The Western World's Changing Education System

Teaching Maths in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Maths in 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Maths in 1980: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set “M”. The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M". Represent the set "C" as subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits? Teaching Maths in 1990: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Maths in 2000: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels "feel" as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Funny Signs Seen in Overseas Hotels

1) In Peking: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing, is please not to read notice. 2) In Belgrade: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. 3) Yugoslavian Hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 4) Ski Resort in Austria: Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. 5) German Campsite: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. 6) Bangkok Temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.

Literary Put-Downs

1) I feel so miserable without you. It’s almost like having you here. (Stephen Bishop) 2) He is a self-made man and worships his creator. (John Bright) 3) He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. (Winston Churchill) 4) A modest little person, with much to be modest about. (Winston Churchill) 5) I’ve just learnt about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial. (Irvin S. Cobb) 6) I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. (Clarence Darrow) 7) He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. (William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway). 8) Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? (Ernest Hemingway about William Faulkner). 9) Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it. (Moses Hadas) 10) He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others. (Samuel Johnson) 11) He has delusions of adequacy. (Walter Kerr) 12) There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure. (Jack E Leonard) 13) He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. (Abraham Lincoln) 14) I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx) 15) He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them. (James Reston about Richard Nixon) 16) In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. (Charles, Count Tallyrand) 17) He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. (Forrest tucker) 18) Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? (Mark Twain) 19) I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. (Mark Twain) 20) His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. (Mae West) 21) Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. (Oscar Wilde) 22) He had no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. (Oscar Wilde) 23) He has Van Gogh’s ear for music. (Billy Wilder) 24) He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts…for support rather than illumination. (Andrew Lang)

More Funny Signs

In a Japanese Hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
On Menu in Swiss Restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On a Polish Menu: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Bangkok Drycleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris Dress Shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes Tailor Shop:Order you summer suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Zurich Hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby shall be used for this purpose.
In a Rome Laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here, and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czech Tourist Agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Ad for Donkey Rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Norwegian Cocktail Lounge: Ladies are requested to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In a Tokyo Hosiery Shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese Hotel Information Folder on How to Use the Air Conditioner: Cooles and heates; if you want just condition of warm air your room, please control yourself.
Two Signs in a Majorcan Shop Entrance: English well speaking; here speeching American.

A Brief Guide to Politics

Generosity: You have two cows and give one to your neighbour.
Socialism: You have two cows and your neighbour has none. The Governemnt forces you to give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and gives you the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and sells you the milk.
Nazism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have two cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and throws the milk away.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

A Few More Funny Signs

Tokyo Bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Danish Airline Ticket Office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Moscow Hotel Room: If this is your first visit to Russia, you are welcome to it.
Doctor's Surgery in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Acapulco Hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water that is served here.
Tokyo Car Rental Firm: When the passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.

How to Remember Your Parts of Speech

AN AID TO GRAMMAR

(Best done with a “rap” beat)

Now here’s a little song and it’s all about grammar,
If you don’t like the tune, I’m gonna hit you with a hammer,
'Cos a hammer is a noun, and a noun is a thing,
And a verb is what you do, such as when you try to sing,
An adverb’s how you do it, and a noun is what it is,
To describe a noun you have to use an adjective.

Now listen up and settle down, I know you think I’m rude,
But when it comes to grammar, I’ve got quite an “attitood”,
Those words like “if”, and “though” and “but”,
You need to know their function,
They join up parts of sentences,
They got the name “conjunction”.
And words that take the place of nouns,
Like “he”, and “she” and “it”,
And “we” and “us” and “you” and “me”,
They’re pronouns, that’s no sweat.

And, brother, take some notice of my closing deposition,
Those words that tell you where you’re at,
They’re called the prepositions,
Like “by” and “from” and “up” and “down”,
And “to” and “in” and “out”,
Like real estate, position, bro’,
Is what it’s all about!

How to Remember the Order of Our Kings and Queens

THE KINGS & QUEENS OF ENGLAND

(Can be sung to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”)

Willy, Willy, Harry, Steve,
Harry, Dick, John, Harry Three,
One, Two, Three Neds, Richard Two,
Henry Four, Five, Six, then who?
Edward Four, Five, Dick the Bad,
Harrys twain and Ned the Lad.

Mary, Bessie, James the Vain,
Charlie, Charlie, James again,
William & Mary, Anna Gloria,
Four Georges, William and Victoria.

Ned Seventh ruled till 1910,
When George the Fifth came in and then,
Ned went when Mrs. Simpson beckoned,
Leaving George and Liz the Second.

Favourite People, Films and Books

Ian Plimer - Brave Scientist Who Dares to Stand Up Against the Climate Change Propaganda Machine
The Beatles - Greatest Composers of the 20th Century
Spinoza - Philosopher and Free Thinker Who Suffered for His Beliefs
Fred Hoyle - Brilliant Astronomer and Free Thinker
Marie Curie - A True Scientist Who Never Gave Up When the Odds were Against Her
Jonathan Miller - Doctor, Scientist, Entertainer
David Attenborough - Biologist, Educator, Entertainer
"Raiders of the Lost Ark" Trilogy
"Back to the Future" Trilogy
"2001 - A Space Odyssey"
"I. Robot"
"Castaway"
"Children of England" by Alison Weir
"The Neutrino" by Isaac Asimov
"The Health Hazards of Not Going Nuclear" by Petr Beckmann
"The Sleepwalkers" by Arthur Koestler

Kathi's Blog

Sunday, 22 June 2014

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